Road Pizza Party

[by the Bungee Jumpin’ Cows]

Topic: Natural history of vultures

Summary: A vulture describes how it decomposes “road pizza” (aka: road kill) into dirt, as well as a few of its’ other delightfully gross habits.

Party party party, it's a road pizza party (3x)

Lookin' down way below looks like dinner's waiting for me

My vulture pals are movin' in, as far as the eye can see

We don't ever kill our prey, we leave that job to you

The critters you hit on the road last night, to you they're just a pile of goo

I'm designed for this job, my adaptations I'll share

I'm red up top ‘cause I am bald I've got no feathers up there

I don't got nothing against parasites, but don't want them on my head

Feathers would get gunked when stuck inside the body of something that is dead

Chorus: Road pizza party! Pee-yew ! Gonna have a road pizza party today

Road pizza party! Road pizza party is the vulture way

We are big heavy birds it's hard for us to fly

Instead of flap we'd rather glide on elevators into the sky

It's a myth if you see us above, it means something has died

What it means is we've hitched a lift on a rising warm air ride

Chorus

I'll have a road toad, and a frog fillet, and a well done snake steak

Gimme a pigeon patty, skunk sandwich how ‘bout a tasty possum pancake?

My alternative ways they may seem gross, but before you turn away

The scavenger lifestyle is a role that somebody has to play

That’s right, if you didn't have us there'd be bodies all around, we offer such a great deal. We take the mess you’ve made and turn it into a delicious meal.

I'm as gross as anyone else you might ever meet.

When it gets hot to cool myself off sometimes I pee on my feet

I’ve got a secret defense if you try to catch me, tell you what I would do

To scare you away I'll take what I just ate, I'll bring it back up and barf all over you

Chorus (4x)