National Champion Judger of Cows

[by the Bungee Jumpin’ Cows]

Topic: Cows!

Summary: Silly cow song pokes fun at the author’s grandfather’s achievement as the national cow-judging champion (true story!).

My grandpa was an O.K. Farmer

I’ve got a lot more respect for him now

Well I never knew about his achievements

He was the national champion judger of cows

Chorus:

Moo moo sing moo with me now

We're udderly impressed we wish we knew how

Your bovine secrets please share with us now

We'll be national champion judgers of cows

The world's seen many great leaders

George Washington, Napoleon, Mao

Well big deal, all they did was lead countries

They weren't national champion judgers of cows

Mozart, the Jacksons and the Beatles

Wrote music we all listen to now

Well that stuff that they wrote was real purty

But they weren't national champion judgers of cows

Chorus

Now Magellan was a daring explorer

But on his ship he'd often stand on the prow

And lament to the waves and the heavens,

"I'll never be national champion judger of cows!"

Galileo, Drew, and Curie

Made discoveries we benefit from now

They became scientists because they couldn't cut it

As national champion judger of cows

Chorus

Joe Montana, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretsky and Pele

All deserve to take a bow

‘Course none of them will ever be satisfied

They're not the national champion judgers of cows

Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha

Did miracles that made people say, "wow!"

Well they might have been good at those miracles

But not national champion judgers of cows

Chorus

So all you kids out there listenin'

Please take this solemn vow

Don't be doctors or lawyers or teachers

Be national champion judgers of cows