Family Tree

[by the Bungee Jumpin’ Cows]

Topic: Evolution

Summary: Many of the evolutionarily innovative distant members of our human family are honored.

A little cell appeared among the chemicals one day

The many-celleds soon ate it up and then they swam away

‘Till a many-celled with muscles came and ate them as hors d’oeuvres

This jellyfish had quite a mouth and it had a lot of nerve

Oh yes, lots of muscle and lots of nerves

The flatworm crawled up and it said “I’ve almost got a brain”

“So what”, said the sea squirt, “that I’m best is very plain

I’ve got a little backbone and I’ve got some gill slits too

My descendents they will include humans before I’m through”

Chorus: Ohhhh Yes! This is my family tree

Ohhhh Yes! It’s evolutionary

Ohhhh Yes! We are family

Ohhhh Yes! I’ve got all my cousins and me

The sea squirt went upriver and became a little fish

A bigger fish it came and said, “Ho, ho, ho - what a tasty dish”

The pond it dried, the fishies died ,but one deserves a hand

It had lungs and knobby fins and flopped across the land Oh yes, it flopped across the land

The fish became amphibians that all breathed through their skin

They ruled the earth but dry places were never theirs to win

A reptile said, “I’ve got you whupped, you wimps”, and slapped his leg

“I’ve got some scaly skin and I’ve got a hard-shelled egg!”

From reptiles came the little birds and all the dinosaurs

But a creature came along warm-blooded to the core

It was pretty puny and it didn’t look too grand

But it had a lot of hair, and it had mammary glands

Oh yes, lots of hair and mammary glands

The dinosaurs all died off and the mammals they did rule

One had a thumb to hitchhike and to help it grasp a tool

This naked weirdo stood upright and had a great big brain

The world had no idea that we would be such a big pain

The humans they developed and they conquered all they saw

They forgot they were connected with all nature and her laws

But one day all that we have ruined might come back in our own face

Then hello again one-celled animals, goodbye to human race