- Bungee Jumpin’ Cows CD!
- Rock Candy CD!
ALIEN GOBBLER
When you cut yourself alien bacteria crawls in
Viruses can also sneak in where your skin is thin
Alien gobbler, a white blood cell not a red
Alien gobbler, he chomps aliens till he’s dead
Now other white blood cells help out our little friend Alien gobbler
They’ve got antibody weapons that they surely send Alien gobbler
Alien gobbler, with antibodies on the go
Alien gobbler, custom made for every foe
Histamine alert bacteria’s here, killing every cell that’s near
Uninvited parasite, alien gobbler time to fight!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(He’s munchin’ alien lunchin’, you’ll feel better when he eats his foe
He’s chompin’ alien stompin’ - alien gobbler go!
Antibodies , set them loose, make the right ones reproduce
Send them off to the war, go ahead and make some more
Antibodies kill ‘n’ cut aliens all around Alien gobbler
Or they coat ‘em and the alien gobblers come up and chomp ‘em down Alien gobbler
Alien gobbler, keeps piggin’, just can’t stop
Alien gobbler, till he croaks then we send him to the top
A river of puss, put the fallen warriors in Alien gobbler
Hardens to a scab, a war memorial on your skin Alien gobbler
Alien gobbler, stamps invaders out
Alien gobbler, just give him a shout
© 1993 Mel McMurrin & Kevin Beals
ARACHNIDAE
I think I hear the doorbell
Guess it’s time to eat
My web it is a-jigglin’ from some insects’ tiny feet
I’ll wrap you up in silk then I’ll eat your insides raw
You’ll be my insect smoothie, suck your guts like with a straw
It’s killer tag and I’m it, don’t you want to play (NO WAY!)
I just want to wish you an arachnidae
Webs can be triangular, funnel-shaped or round
Some have sticky trip lines. some dig down in the ground
Others they don’t have webs they chase down their prey
I’m so glad to meet you but I guess it’s not your day
When it’s time to mate, its a dangerous dating game
Some spiders eat each other things that wiggle are all the same
The females have a motto that means I risk my life
A husband’s place is inside the stomach of his wife
© 1993 Pete Madsen, Kevin Beals & Mel McMurrin
BANANA SLUG
You know I love my baby
I like the way that she hugs
People don’t understand
She’s a banana slug
She’s got just one foot
But she ain’t got no toes
She just hangs out in the forest
Helpin’ it decompose
Banana slug Ba na na na na na na (repeat)
Ba-na-na-slug!
The way you shake your antenna
You know it gives me such bliss
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon banana slug
And let me give you a kiss
Oh when you slide through the forest
You know you look so fine
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon banana slug
And let me feel your slime
Now I’m broke up about my baby
Found out she doesn’t need me
She told me just the other night
That she is also a he. Hermaphroditic she’s a…
Now some folks think that she’s gross
But I don’t hear that jive
‘Cause if it weren’t for my baby
This forest might not survive
© 1981 Kevin Beals
BLOOD-SUCKING FRIENDS
You get into bed and turn off the lights
Ready to sleep you say goodnight
Then you hear a buzzing getting near
Before you know it a mosquito’s in your ear
You try to kill it, you cover your head
But mosquito babies must be fed
You smack and whack, you think you’re a stud
But she flies away with a belly full of blood
We’re your blood-sucking friends. We want to be your friends
We’re your blood-sucking friends. On your blood we depend
We’re your friends. When you give, you’re giving life
We’re your friends. Not for me, but for my wife
We’re your blood-sucking friends
The buzz you hear is her love call for a mate
If a male’s antennae hears it, he meets her for a date
Us males are quiet and we don’t bite
But can you hear that female, she’ll drink to you tonight
Us males don’t whine or dine • Plant juices taste just fine
When we bite we leave spit, that’s how we spread disease
Civilizations we’ve brought to their knees
Yellow fever and malaria in tropical lands
All I spread here is itch, but you’re still not my fans!
Help out our little ones • Without your blood their life is done
I feed frogs, snakes, lizards, salamanders, and fish
Dragonflies and swallows think that I’m a hot dish
Spiders and water boatmen, backswimmers too
They all feed on me, but now I’m gonna feed on you!
Wouldn’t you like to donate? • You’ll feel just great
She was born in stagnant water in a raft of eggs
A cute little wriggler without any legs
Living life as a pupa wasn’t much of a thrill
But now she’s an adult and it’s time to drill!
You might like us all to die • But don’t even try • I think you’d best refrain • You’ll mess up the food chain • Please give your blood freely • We accept type A or B • We vant to suck your blood!
© 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen
BUBBA (THE FROG)
Let me tell you ’bout my froggie friend
He lives in the water and he lives on land
He’s an amphibian, he lives in-between
He’s got a big mouth and his skin is green
He’s got a pair of great big bulbous eyes
They drop down when he swallows flies
His tongue shoots out and here they come
Wings and all right over the gums
His name is Bubba, he’s a big fat frog
Been eatin’ bugs all day here on this log
The sky is dark, it’s getting late
He’d better croak loud, if he wants a date
He’s got long hind legs, would like to be the champ
Of the frog jump olympics down at Angel’s Camp
Ya better keep those lovely legs out of view
They’re good for jumpin’ but they’re tasty too
He can drink and breathe right through his skin
He’s camouflaged so that he blends in
Now to find a mate who will respond
He’ll join the choir down at the pond.
He eats buuuugs for breakfast Bugs for breakfast
He eats bugs for lunch Bugs for lunch
He eats buuuugs for dinner Bugs for dinner
He likes the way they crunch He likes the way they crunch
He eats buuuug burgers Bug burgers
He drinks bug milkshakes Bug milkshakes
He puts buuuug butter Bug butter
On his bug pancakes On his bug pancakes
© 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen
DANCING WITH THE INSECTS
I snuck into the lab to see what was cooking
I knew I shouldn’t be there but I was only looking
There was a big machine there it was made for shrinking
I bumped into the lever, I guess I wasn’t thinking
I started to feel funny I was getting smaller
I tried to get away and I shouted and hollered
The machine it kept on going as I stood on the rug
And it didn’t stop until I was the size of a bug
I looked up and I saw that there were insects all around me
I hid but it wasn’t long until they found me
It was an insect party I had landed in
They were jitterbugging, wiggling their exoskeletons
Their bodies were a blur as around we did spin
They were shaking their heads, their thorax, and their abdomens
They all had six legs, the beetles and the fleas
So all of them could dance three times better than me
I was dancing with the insects (Bailando)
Bailando con los insectos (Insectos) (2x)
Venga jugar. ¡Vamos a bailar y gozar! (2x)
I asked a butterfly if she’d dance with me
I thought I recognized her from entomology
We climbed up and we danced on a sugar cube so sweet ¡Azucar!
And as we danced she tasted it with her feet! ¡Sabor!
She said she had to leave ’cause it was getting late
She took off with some bees and went off to pollinate
Then with some cucarachas I began to mosh
I said, “hey man aren’t you the bugs that I used to squash?”
They gathered all around me shouting “are you the one?
Who kills our friends and family just for fun?”
I stared into their compound eyes I didn’t want to die
I said, “don’t mess with my garden and I won’t hurt a fly”
A Goliath beetle grabbed me and said, “you’re history dude”!
But just in time I grew and gained some altitude
I still do the dance the insects taught to me
But so I squish nobody I do it carefully
Tenían tres partes de sus cuerpos tambien
Cabeza, thórax y abdomen
Cuando ví la mariposa la conocía
La había estudiado en entomología
I don’t know why I killed them before
Los dejaré vivír alrededor
Bailando el merenge y la cha cha cha
Tambien conocían a la macarena
Ya que estoy grande otra vez
Los dejaré vivír all over the place
I was dancing with the insects
Bailando con los insectos (2x)
© 1993 Kevin Beals, Mel McMurrin & Lynn Barakos
EARTHQUAKE
Rumble in the distance, land wakes from its sleep
What I feel on the surface started way down deep
The earth’s crust is divided into many plates
And where we all live on them determines our fate
Where plates slide past each other it’s everybody’s fault
The pressure it can build when they slow down to a halt
Little jolts release it, but without any brakes
The earth starts dancing - its big booty begins to shake
Earthquake • Land shakes • Plates slide - collide
We wait • To vibrate • On nature’s wildest ride (repeat)
Continents colliding like giant bumper cars
That’s how the tallest mountains were pushed up to the stars
India was drifting then rammed into the land
The place it crashed in Asia’s where the Himalayas stand
The earth when it was forming had no water or atmosphere
Locked up in the rocks you know they hadn’t yet appeared
Volcanoes on the surface completely changed this place
By spewing gas like pimples erupting on your face
When a plate goes ‘neath another its a subduction zone
And with that plate’s destruction shoots up volcanic cones
The Sierras and the Rockies, they were born that way
In the Cascades it’s still happening - why St. Helen’s was blown away
Deep beneath the oceans plates are being formed
When lava hits the water now it goes from hot to warm
It moves across the ocean and says a slow good-bye
‘Cause at the other side you know it’s shoved down deep to die
Milkshake!
© 1993 Kevin Beals Pete Madsen & Mel McMurrin
FIRE!
Fire! Fire!
Caveman cold • Raw food getting old • It dark when sun down • Wild animals all around • Oh - light from sky • It hit a tree • Me scared • But now me can see, it’s Fire!
Me get more near • Me have no fear • Me like a lot • Ow! - it too hot • Fire can be friend • If treat with care • Me got too close now me don’t got no hair Fire!
Me bang on things • To make some sparks • Me try sticks and bones • But then me meet the flintstones! • Me figured it out • Now fire my tool • Recipe for fire: heat, oxygen, fuel. That make…Fire!
(Booga booga business)
When something burns • There is an attraction • With oxygen • It’s a chemical reaction • H2O • CO2 • Are some of the gases fire makes for me and you. That make…Fire!
Spark plugs fire in my ‘56 Chevy
This rock don’t roll, ‘cause it too heavy
I’ve got a barbecue now and a gas range stove
Me sitting in me cave and me still cold
Don’t play with fire, better watch out now
For Hindenberg and Mrs. O’Leary’s cow!
Fire’s not a toy, so you take care
Don’t be neanderthal, just beware!
© 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen
FOOD CHAIN GANG
We’re the food chain gang We’re the food chain gang
We connect everything We connect everything
Food chain ya can’t break it or ya know
The pull affects the others and down we all will go
We’re the food chain gang We’re the food chain gang
Well the chain starts out with an oak leaf in the sun
Making carbohydrates - havin’ lots of fun
Caterpillar eats it, turns into a moth
Winds up on a log in the belly of a frog
Now the log was sittin’ by the shores of a lake
Frog became a dinner for a sneaky gopher snake
Snake thinks she’s cool cause she’s cold-blooded
Long comes racoon eats our reptile bud
Please let me explain. The power that pumps you up every day comes to you through a bunch of food chains
Racoon was sittin’ just washin’ his food
Bobcat came and ate him’cause she was in the mood
The bobcat died, died of old age
The insects ate her - into soil she decayed
© 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen
GROTY TOES
I like sports, I’m not exactly athletic but I like to hang out with sweaty fungis in athletic shoes
I’m a parasite I admit. I like one-sided relationships
I’m a fungus, I wanna have fun, I want the opportunity to make you itch
I like throwing out spores and letting them sink into your skin
and let ‘em dig right in
And if the spore can germinate
Because you did not ventilate
Mycelium will infiltrate your skin
Skin and wood are really great
Some plants I also populate
Your feet I wanna irritate with…
Groty toes, Groty toes, itchy groty toes
Do you like spaghetti bread and pizza
Salad stir fry and roquefort cheese?
Aren’t you glad there’s antibiotics that are used to cure disease?
My kinfolk are in all these
And dead things would accumulate
If fungus did not congregate
To decompose and penetrate within
So to your shoes let me migrate
And do not try to medicate
Our partnership you’ll terminate.
We’re beautiful and edible
Put us in stew. But you might spew
Some of us are poisonous
Identify or you could die I said
Identify or die (3x)
Some like give and take relationships, my cousin Chanterelle got involved with a tree
I’m not a princess but I’m from a kingdom that isn’t plant or beast
Including mushrooms, mold and yeast
We do not photosynthesize
The plant kingdom does not apply
Our mushrooms are to multiply - they’re fruits
Hidden right before your eyes
‘Neath skin and ground you realize
When we pop up you’ll recognize
© 1995 Mel McMurrin, Kevin Beals, Lynn Barakos and Pete Madsen
GUSANO (I AM A WORM)
I am a worm
The wondrous worm
It’s down under
I love to squirm
To eat the dead
And the living’s my toil
And what comes out makes magnificent soil
Gusa nonononononononononononononono sí (2x)
I aerate the earth as I tunnel and squirm
I am proud to be called a worm
Our tunnels flood
It rains all night
Come up for air
We’re killed by light
When people die worms attend
Even when it’s dull
But no one comes to a worms’ funeral (oh no, I’m not bitter!)
A robin’s cute
Have you not heard?
Of the massacres
By the early bird
We do such good
From us you could learn
But you make us fish bait in return - thanks a lot!
© 1993 Mel McMurrin & Kevin Beals
LAWS OF PHYSICS
These are the laws of physics.
You’re busted, uh huh - you know you cannot break the law
Can’t run, can’t glide, can’t take a ride,
Can’t stop, can’t move, can’t bump or groove
Without the laws of physics
You’re riding your bike down the block
You hit a rock and your bicycle stops
You were movin’ fast wind in your hair
Your bike has stopped, now you’re flyin’ in the air
You wish you were skinny with a little less fat
‘Cause the bigger you are, the bigger the splat
And you hit a bunch of kids, like a bowling ball
You know the harder you come, the harder they fall - It’s the law!
Your parents said to go clean your room
You’ve been workin’ at it hard, now you’re sweatin’ with a broom
They just wouldn’t listen when you made your plea
I didn’t mess it up, it’s just entropy!
It’s the universe’s fault, it don’t got no heart
Everything put together falls apart
Wish I could freeze it to minus four fifty nine
Then the atoms wouldn’t move, and my room’d be fine - It’s the law!
Pull over there, with the lead in your shoe
What’s the matter officer? The matter is you!
I clocked your speed 186 thou.
Going much faster than the law will allow
I know the rules, I won’t give you a fight
If you’ve got mass you can’t go the speed of light - It’s the law!
Everything is attracted to all other things
The greater the mass, you know the greater the cling
My booty was attracted to the ground the other day
That’s gravity at work in a painful way
My attraction to Tina is more than gravity though
Not all attractions are explained with physics you know
But I’m glad she’s attracted to the planet Earth with me
Thank goodness for the law of universal gravity! - It’s the law!
© 1993 Pete Madsen, Kevin Beals & Mel McMurrin
NATIONAL CHAMPION JUDGER OF COWS
My grandpa was an O.K. Farmer
I’ve got a lot more respect for him now
Well I never knew about his achievements
He was the national champion judger of cows
Moo moo sing moo with me now
We’re udderly impressed we wish we knew how
Your bovine secrets please share with us now
We’ll be national champion judgers of cows
The world’s seen many great leaders
George Washington, Napoleon, Mao
Well big deal, all they did was lead countries
They weren’t national champion judgers of cows
Mozart, the Jacksons and the Beatles
Wrote music we all listen to now
Well that stuff that they wrote was real purty
But they weren’t national champion judgers of cows
Now Magellan was a daring explorer
But on his ship he’d often stand on the prow
And lament to the waves and the heavens,
“I’ll never be national champion judger of cows!”
Galileo, Drew, and Curie
Made discoveries we benefit from now
They became scientists because they couldn’t cut it
As national champion judger of cows
Joe Montana, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretsky and Pele
All deserve to take a bow
‘Course none of them will ever be satisfied
They’re not the national champion judgers of cows
Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha
Did miracles that made people say, “wow!”
Well they might’ve been good at those miracles
But not national champion judgers of cows
So all you kids out there listenin’
Please take this solemn vow
Don’t be doctors or lawyers or teachers
Be national champion judgers of cows
© 1993 Kevin Beals & Gary Beals
ONE OF THESE DAYS
One of these days we’re gonna rule the world - we already do (2x)
Life used to be soft, till the shells gave them might
The seas were ruled by the trilobites
Then imagine being grabbed by something 7 feet long
Sea scorpions were nasty but now they’re gone
Devonian was ruled by fish
Now most of them are just a side dish
So what if the sharks are still around
Hey tough guy, come on up on the ground - HA!
Next the amphibians did their land/water thing
Imagine earth ruled by a salamander king
That’s when I came along, the star of the show
240 million years ago
The reptiles were the next to take charge
Big deal - so they were kinda large
They say Tyrannosaurus ruled
But now he’s just a fossil fuel - HA!
Yes I’m the greatest you’ve ever seen
You might call me the cucaracha queen
You may look down on me now
But I’ll outlive you anyhow
The mammals were the next to think that they were the best
But look how many have flunked the test
Woolly mammoth and the Cave bear, and saber toothed cat
They were bad long ago but now where are they at?
Whales may think they’re unsurpassed
But history proves that big things don’t last
You’re superior that’s what you think
We’ll be partying when you’re extiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinct
La cucarachaaaaaa
© 1993 Peter Madsen, Kevin Beals & Mel McMurrin
ROAD PIZZA PARTY
Party party party, it’s a road pizza party (3x)
Lookin’ down way below looks like dinner’s waiting for me
My vulture pals are movin’ in, as far as the eye can see
We don’t ever kill our prey, we leave that job to you
The critters you hit on the road last night, to you they’re just a pile of goo
I’m designed for this job, my adaptations I’ll share
I’m red up top ‘cause I am bald I’ve got no feathers up there
I don’t got nothing against parasites, but don’t want them on my head
Feathers would get gunked when stuck inside the body of something that is dead
Road pizza party! Pee-yew !
Gonna have a road pizza party today
Road pizza party! Road pizza party is the vulture way
We are big heavy birds it’s hard for us to fly
Instead of flap we’d rather glide on elevators into the sky
It’s a myth if you see us above, it means something has died
What it means is we’ve hitched a lift on a rising warm air ride
I’ll have a road toad, and a frog fillet, and a well done snake steak
Gimme a pigeon patty, skunk sandwich how ‘bout a tasty possum pancake
My alternative ways they may seem gross, but before you turn away
The scavenger lifestyle is a role that somebody has to play
That’s right, if you didn’t have us there’d be bodies all around, we offer such a great deal
We take the mess you’ve made and turn it into a delicious meal.
I’m as gross as anyone else you might ever meet.
When it gets hot to cool myself off sometimes I pee on my feet
I’ve got a secret defense if you try to catch me, tell you what I would do
To scare you away I’ll take what I just ate, I’ll bring it back up and barf all over you
© 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen
ROCK OF THE EARTH
Melt me down way deep inside
As I cool, let me crystalize
I’m igneous, but don’t take me for granite
Burnin’ hot lava - I can be volcanic
I’m rock - rock of the earth (2x)
Rockin’ and a rollin’ since the date of my birth
I’m rock - rock of the earth
Wash me with water, blow me with wind
Carve out my valleys, erode my skin
I’m made of mud, silt, rocks and sand
Hardened into rock I’m sedimentary land
I’ve been gettin’ worn down high and low
Since 4 1/2 billion years ago
Lucky for me, my continents drift
Earthquakes give me a face-lift
Give me pressure and heat and I’ll start to change
Make stripes and folds as I rearrange
I’m a metamorphic rock down under your shoes
Be nice to me, ‘cause I can be gneiss too.
© 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen
SHARK’S IN THE HOUSE
There’s miles of ocean underneath me
What’s messin’ with my mind is that I just can’t see
What’s down below lookin’ up at me
Thinkin’ of what a tasty meal I could be
From out of the depths torpedo slippin’ through the blue
Them beady black eyes have a great view
Of me with my little legs adanglin’, don’t want a manglin’
From you an unscheduled rendezvous
How do you do? You cordon bleu
No way - uh, uh - I’m outa here
And let me make one thing perfectly clear
You see when it comes to sharks and my backside
You call me chicken, I’ll say “yeah, Kentucky Fried”
Watch out! Watch out! Shark’s in the house! (4x)
You been cruisin’ the salty blue H2O
As predator king since 400 million years ago you know
You make no bones about it you ain’t got none
You’re just a cartilage creature causin’ 911’s,
You’re no fun at a party, cause you feed in that frenzied way
Can’t take you anywhere, just leave me outa your buffet
And don’t smile at me with those steak knives
Your conveyor belt teeth they ruin skin dives
You know what I’m sayin’? I wanna stay alive, but you know right where I’m at
Your sensory could locate me in nothin’ flat
Look, when the scene is marine, I’m a lousy source of protein
So save your guillotine, I’m just lean cuisine
What kind of a shark are you? I wanna know before I die
Some sharks can terrify, but some are plain shy
Carcaradon Megalodon could eat a car they say
So what are you a hammerhead, Great White or San Jose?
You must be 50 feet long and weigh 20 tons
A whale of a shark comin’ at me I know I’m done for
Say what, Mr. Big stuff
You eat plankton and that’s enough?
I was scared for nothin’ guess it’s true what they say
Sharks they prefer much more tasty prey - they’re gourmet
Now it’s true there’s a few that might take a bite
But for most a human sandwich spoils their appetite
You sharks are all right, I guess you have your place
So live long and prosper, but stay outa my face!
Hey you with the dorsal, I ain’t your morsel
You can just take your slicin’ and dicin’ bootay someplace else
Uh oh, here comes el fin
© 1994 Kevin Beals, Mel McMurrin & Mario Newton
TERMITE FLATULENCE
Went down to the tropics today
Where the rainforest is being stripped away
Everyday we kill many species of plants
The only thing left is gonna be termite flatulence.
Termite flatulence
Let the rainforest have a chance
Stop termite flatulence
People who need money cut down the trees
To raise the cows for you and me
If we don’t change what we’re doing, and change it fast
Where once was a forest, there’ll be just termites passing gas
When the trees cut down the stumps they stay
The termites munch and help the wood decay
Tiny critters in their guts help digest cellulose parts
Like humans eating beans it makes termite……………….flatulence
Hey Mon! Wo-man!
Help the rainforest stay —–Don’t throw diversity away
It’s not just the trees —–It’s the cure to disease
If you want to do good —–Don’t buy tropical wood
It’s affecting us all —– Hear the flatulence call
You might wonder what you can do all alone
Don’t eat cheap beef till the cows come home
If we all eat more Brazilian nuts
It might slow down all the termite butts… and stop flatulence
© 1993 Kevin Beals, Joel Dunlap & Mel McMurrin
TORNADO TWIST
I was on the Great Plains, thought I felt some drops
I stopped and saw a puffy cloud with an anvil on top
A wind from the south was blowin’ moist and warm
The cool wicked wind of the west was high in the storm
The air was movin’ up and slowly started to turn
Like a funnel that was formin’ now I was concerned
Because it hovered ‘bove the ground, then bent down and kissed her
I said, “look out Auntie Em, here comes a twister”!
Twist, Twist, Twist - Do the tornado (4x)
I heard a fat roar like a thousand freight trains
Now it may rain in Spain, but the wind was on this plain
Two hundred miles an hour - I was scared as the Dickens
It put a cow on my roof - it plucked all my chickens
It rearranged the furniture around my neighborhood
I got a new hairdo right where I stood
So look when nature throws a tantrum better watch out mister
The spin cycle’s on now - you’re caught in a twister
So if you wanna do the dance that is sweeping the nation with gyration
It ain’t hard, all you need is rotation
Stand on one foot and start twistin’ around
Kind of like you’re squishin’ somethin’ into the ground
Get hot down below stay cool up top
If you think you’re gonna hurl then you better stop
Keep on goin’ till you get a blister
Grab your mom and Dad, your brother and sister
You’re doin’ the tornado yeah, you’re doin’ the twister!
© 1995 Mel McMurrin, Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen
UNDERTAKERS
Everybody say hey Hey
Everybody say ho Ho
Now throw your antennae in the air
and wave ‘em ‘round like you don’t care
Say munch it Munch it
Everybody say crunch it Crunch it
The log, the log, the log is decomposing
The ants go marching 2 by 2
When things drop dead Plop - boom
Then we get fed and we feed the flower bed Munch it - and crunch it
Will you appreciate - will you be grateful dead? I don’t think so- no way!
But we never refuse your refuse Fine dining and - good eats
Can you dig it? You can dig it ’cause we dig it.
Even your nose is going to decompose. Because…
We’re undertakers can you hear our thunder (repeat)
If it’s dead or dung gonna take it under (repeat)
We eat it all for you
Munch it and crunch it
The living skin of the earth - Soil
wouldn’t exist if we weren’t around - Chompin’, and stompin’
We ain’t Beethoven - we decompose
Our destruction is soil creation Mas-ti-ca-TION!
But we tunnel, we dig, we squirm, we crawl
Garbage and goo - We love it all
Your belly button too will be dirt when we are through
break it on down, break it on down
break it on down, break it on down
break it on down, break it on down, break it on down, down, down, down, down
Eatin’ fast we make Soil
Take it slow we make Oil
We’re setting free the sun’s energy Nibble nibble, plop drop
Birth to earth Dust to dust
To make the cycle go ‘round - In us you trust
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
Munch it and crunch it - we eat it all for you (3x)
Your stinky feet too, will be rotten when we’re through
We decompose the symphony of life
When you’re already dead you probably won’t miss your head
© 1995 Kevin Beals & Mel McMurrin
WE DON’T WANNA GO (DINO GRADUATION SONG)
The Cenozoic is here, our senior year must now end - Oh no, oh, no
Sign my dino yearbook please my freshman mammalian friend - Oh no, oh, no
Were so embarrassed that this could occur
We’re being replaced by a ball of fur
Rulers of Cretaceous, Jurassic, Triassic
The only Dinos left are gonna be plastic
Nah, nah, nah, nah, - Hey hey - We don’t wanna go (repeat)
One hundred forty million years, but soon we’ll be history - Oh no, oh, no
How did we die - the world’s biggest murder mystery - Oh no, oh, no
Was it an asteroid or something else that occurred
Or did we go on to college and evolve into birds?
The last laugh’s on you humans, think you’re Sherlock Holmes
The only clues we’ll leave will be a pile of bones
So thanks Thecodonts, but now we’re sharing your fate - Oh no, oh, no
The mammals will go on, but the dinos must graduate - Oh no, oh, no
We could’ve been smart, but instead we got big
Some small ones will survive ‘cause they can dig
It’s hard to understand why some live and some die
T. Rex will be dead and a cow will arrive.
Gee, it’s really been fun! • Remember when that Pachycephalosaurus started whippin’ cycads in the cafeteria? • Yeah, what a bonehead • I almost spewed like a Dilophosaur • Hey I can’t wait for the senior prom • There’s gonna be a band called the asteroids playin’ • We’re gonna go out with a bang, man! • I’m really gonna miss you guys • Have a fun nuclear winter!
Don’t evolve, don’t evolve, ever ever!
Here we go dinos, here we go
We are excellent, we’re wick’ brill’
We’re the class of negative 65 mil
© 1993 Mel McMurrin & Kevin Beals
WE SAIL THE WINDS
On a leaf of green from water I came
Through photosynthesis, oxygen’s me name
We sailed into the great blue yonder
All through the air we did wander
Till we were sucked into somebody’s nose
Past snot and hairs down the tube we did go
We sail the winds, the blood and the leaves
We’re O2 gases that meet with a C – We’re air - Arrrrr Breathe in
Through pharynx and larynx and trachea too
The walls of the lungs is where we went through
We flowed along in a great red sea
In rivers of blood through the arteries
Twas then we were welcomed into a cell
Met a fair carbon lass and for her we both fell
As animals burp, they breathe and they sneeze
They send different gases out onto the breeze
The carbon dioxide is what the plants use
Providing the creatures with food and oxygen too
We broke down that sugar here’s what we did do
We bonded together to make CO2
Back into the blood and through breath that smelled bad
We were set free and adventures had
Till we reached a plant and we ended our ride
The stoma gates opened and let us inside
© 1993 Pete Madsen & Kevin Beals
